The Guillemots

album Through the Windowpane always brings me bizarrely straight back to March-April-May 2007 in Bar le Duc and Nancy. It is freakish and a little heartbreaking. I think I was as happy as I’ve ever been then.

I just thought I’d mention that because I’ve got iTunes on shuffle and it jumped to Redwings, which isn’t even a song I listened to on its own, only when I was listening to the whole album.

This is where we fall from the trees
This is where the sky covers up
Daft killers of joy, you made a man out of me
And this is where the glass leaves the lens
Splintering a chemistry of friends
I’ll treasure you always
You know I love you

And this is where we wake in the ditch
This is where our bodies sing no more
Fallen apples on the floor, pecked at by redwings

So pour another whisky out for me
It’ll be the last bottle we share
As I drift into nowhere

Know that I loved you
But love was not enough to hold my grip
Can’t you just feel my fingers slip
Into those oceans in the sky where people swim
Oceans in the sky calling me in
Oceans in the sky I tell myself
Though I’m not kidding anybody else
They know I’m leaving
They know that I’m leaving this behind

So I’m leaving my best friend
Just for the hell of it
Just for the sake of it
But how much I loved you

Some things are very obvious in retrospect, how wrong we were for each other, how fucked up he was, how it would have been better if I had cut it off when I left France the first time, and then I listen to a song like that and it reminds me how beautiful he was at moments, how very much I wanted him to be happy, how that year changed me so much, and how much I ended up loving him.

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