Phantom limb

It’s fun (maybe more like surreal) sometimes to think about the different trajectories my life might have taken had I made different choices. The only reason I came to France after college was because I didn’t study abroad in college. If I had studied abroad, would I have been dying to come back? Or would I have been happy staying in the U.S.? And then, I really only thought I was coming to France for a year. Dating my French ex first put the idea in my head of staying. What if JS and I had never dated? What if I hadn’t fallen in love with France? Would I be working in publishing in New York like I had planned? Or would it all have sooner or later somehow have led me to teaching languages? I’m listening to a song I listened to a lot at the end of my assistant year and it’s put me back in that mindset when all of the sudden France was possibly a longer-term thing than seven months, and my life since and now has all more or less been a result of that change.

Bar le Duc was very pretty in April, and I was spending a lot of time going to Nancy and back and crashing at Chelsey’s and the not-yet-ex’s. Chelsey and I drank a lot of creme peche with Zandra and woke up in the morning hungover and made mishmashes of veggies with scrambled eggs to our hearts’ content. They were really good times. I think I might still be trying to find my way back up to that high.

3 thoughts on “Phantom limb

  1. I think about stuff like that too. I feel like this whole France thing is because of French Immersion which I almost wasn’t in, we almost moved to Texas when I was 4. So I like imagining Texan Andromeda sometimes. She obviously has a cheerleader scholarship and is taller, but I’m still pretty happy with France.

  2. I also think about stuff like this. Isn’t it funny how one thing leads to another and ends up influencing the entire trajectory of our lives? I also did the assistant program because I hadn’t been able to study abroad in college and didn’t think I would be there for more than a year. It’s funny to think about the alternate realities we could have.

  3. They do have some French immersion schools in Texas though Andromeda! You just have to be in a big city. But yeah, I actually started studying French when I was 6 because we switched to private school because the public schools were not good. Everyone asks me why I chose to study French and I never have an answer because, well, I didn’t exactly.

    Thanks for the comments both of you…

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