(Unattainable) Resolutions of a Professeur-Stagiaire for Next Year

This morning the lycée English teachers (there are five of us) and the lycée director met to divide up our hours for next year, and I came out of the fog with: 1 class of BTS Tourisme (which is post-bac), 1 class of 1e (S and ES mixed together), 2 classes of 2e, 1 class of 3e, and 1 class of 5e. Some would call that a lot of levels, and it is, but my goal was to a) not have two classes of 3e, and b) nab the open BTS Tourisme hours. It gives me 1.87 hours of overtime per week (I know, it’s a truly odd number), and I wouldn’t have minded not having the 1e, but because everything’s in groups now rather than in classes, all five of us had to have a groupe of 1e to make it work. Also, I’ve already taught 1e, 2e, and 3e so in theory at least I should have less to prepare for them this year.

For most of the year, but especially the last few weeks of class, I told myself that I would do many, many things differently next year. So many things I did with good intentions (letting the students go to the bathroom) proved to be a big pain in the butt by the end of the year. Nonetheless, I’m well aware that the resolution to do everything right next year is a little ridiculous, and that it’ll never work that way. So with that said, here is my list of (Unattainable) Resolutions of a Professeur-Stagiaire for Next Year:

1) I will speak only English all the time with all of my students, whether it be in the classroom, in the hallways, in the parking lot, wherever.

2) I will put in place a strict point penalty schedule for late work.

3) I will prevent all cheating and copying on tests through my finely tuned surveillance skills.

4) I will accept no ass-hattery of any kind from my students.

5) I will put in place an entirely coherent yearly progression for all my classes.

6) I will use more of the fancy art and history sections in my textbooks.

7) I will work on interdisciplinary projects with teachers in other subjects.

8) I will take my students on a field trip.

9) I will require all homework to be done all the time and give detentions if it isn’t.

10) I will regularly check the notebooks of my students in collège.

11) I will use my iPad as much as possible and not my super slow netbook. In general, I’ll use awesome technology all the time.

12) I will grade harder.

13) I will correct all papers within a reasonable amount of time and return every single one to every single student regardless of continual absences on their part.

14)  I will give my netvibes address to the students at the beginning of the year and use it constantly all year long.

15) I will never allow any student ever to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water ever. Except in grave cases of emergency.

Should we take bets on how long any of these last?


One thought on “(Unattainable) Resolutions of a Professeur-Stagiaire for Next Year

  1. Zhu says:

    I know I had a really hard time speaking only French with my students when I taught. It was so much easier to explain in English if they were really stuck… especially with beginners. And unlike some teachers, I actually speak English, so it was easier for me to!

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