The Unknown

What’s there to say about this past night? I really, really, really thought Hillary would win. As did so many other people.

Paddy was surprisingly adorable last night as I watched Grace and Frankie (thanks for the recommendation CRose). I got up with him at 3 when there was no news yet, and at 5 when everything started crumbling. It took me his full feeding to realize what was going to happen and I went and woke up Papa in tears saying “Il va gagner.” J was as they say in French “dans les vapes” and thought I was AGAIN crying about the not sleeping baby who was actually STILL being adorable and almost fully asleep already. As soon as I said “No, I’m talking about the election,” he got up and turned on the TV. We watched for about half an hour before going back to bed. Paddy slept miraculously from 6 to 9—not something he typically does—and I was very unsure I would be able to take advantage of it and get some sleep, but I did.

Waking up at 9 I managed to not wake him before getting a shower in, even though all I wanted to see was his little face. I am so glad I’m not at work today, fielding questions from well-meaning or just curious colleagues. I don’t know what I’d say to them, or to the students. I keep reminding myself nobody has died, there could be worse news than this. I remember how awful we all felt at Macalester in 2004 when Bush was re-elected—but this is the true unknown, whereas with Bush we knew what we were getting. I can’t even really imagine a Trump presidency. I hope he’ll just surround himself with advisors and do as little actual presidenting as possible.

Here’s the new song I’m singing to Paddy these days:


“Only Love”
You may live alone and close your eyes
Some folks do
You may dream a dream that’s twice your size
All night through
When the morning comes who’s to tell your dreams to
Only you

Only love, love only, only love
Will do
Only love, love only, only love
Comes true
Nothing else, you see, there nothing else
Only love, only love

I have known a love within my heart
One or two
Where one love would end and one would start
I never knew
If love should come your way you’ll learn to say
I love you, I love you

Only love, love only, only love
Will do
Only love, love only, only love
Comes true
Nothing else, you see, there nothing else
Only love, only love

-The wonderful John Prine


4 thoughts on “The Unknown

  1. Reb says:

    My French coworkers have more (dismal) things to say about this than my US friends… I’d be glad not to be at work, too. Enjoy your time with your petit chou !

  2. I spent all night glued to the computer, refreshing the map and watching the states turn red. I never was even afraid this would happen – I was sure Hillary would win. I am glad I’m not abroad right now – I wouldn’t know what to say either. It was bad enough when he was just in the primaries.

    But I’m glad you’re enjoying Grace and Frankie 🙂 Some nice liberal comedy to combat reality…

    • I was never afraid either and told everyone who was practically that they were being silly. Everyone here seems very sympathetic though, like they understand that this is something terrible for us.

      Grace and Frankie is SO funny.

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