S’Epanouir

I know, I know, I know I write a ton about my baby these days. I know babies and children aren’t for everyone and that is cool, like in the strong sense of the term, not as in the I’m cool with it sense of the term. Unfortunately I can’t stop myself.

Littlest’s first eight-weeks were typical newborn-level HARD. Like I didn’t know how I’d manage hard, in spite of the immediate cuteness of things like J holding him above his head, or pictures like these with my dad:

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I mean come on

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Seriously?

I wondered where the joy was and if I was really cut out for this—feelings, I assume, every mom has at some point or other.

But ever since he settled at around 8 weeks old I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like surely motherhood can’t be this good. I didn’t know I would love it this much. Colleagues have asked me frequently how things are going with the baby at home, and all I can say each time is “génial, il est trop mignon” (and get annoyed when they ask if he’s sleeping through the night, as if that’s all that counts).

I’ll keep crossing my fingers that the joy will continue, but I think maybe I can just conclude now that I love being a mom to this little boy, that motherhood has brought out something in me that I didn’t know was there.

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Petit amour et moi

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8 thoughts on “S’Epanouir

    • Thanks Shannon. I alternate between thinking we (=people in general) don’t talk enough about hard it is (at least at the beginning) and thinking we don’t talk enough about how great it is!

      • I’m terrified of how hard it’s going to be. But knowing that it gets better – and even in those hard first few weeks that there will be good moments – gives me some reassurance.

      • I think it helps to talk about it, so if/when it gets hard, you know you’re not the only one who’s felt that way. It was hard for me at the beginning to see other people getting such joy from my baby when my feelings were so much more complex. But with time I’ve realized that only makes sense—he’s mine, not theirs!

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